


Texarkana

by Whoareyou0000



Category: Zombieland (2009)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Gore, Goodbyes, Implied Sexual Content, Love Confessions, M/M, Partnership, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:34:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22070395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoareyou0000/pseuds/Whoareyou0000
Summary: Tallahassee and Columbus reach Texarkana in the shadow of a violent storm and a single impulsive kiss that will either crumble or rebuild their foundation.
Relationships: Columbus/Tallahassee (Zombieland)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 110





	Texarkana

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Zombieland or the guys within. This story is AU in the sense that Columbus and Tallahassee have not and will not meet Wichita or Little Rock. 
> 
> Authors Note: I’ve been writing and rewriting my version of Texarkana for a while. It’s such an important and yet unspoken detail in their relationship. Anyway, this is what I settled on. Enjoy, thanks for the kudos, and happy new year friends!

Ominous black clouds swirled together to make a gray soup in the darkening sky. The remaining threads of the setting sun lined the horizon and dangled a single beam of dim orange light directly through the truck’s window and into the passenger seat. It triggered spots in Columbus’ vision, and he turned towards the driver’s side to rub his heavy eyes and mumble a slurred warning.

“A storm’s coming.” 

Tallahassee took a swig from his flask and responded with an edge.

“Thanks Helen Hunt. Hadn’t noticed.” 

Columbus rolled his eyes and sighed, turning back to the passenger-side window. He watched the sky with general disinterest and picked at a loose piece of rubber at the base of the cold glass. The tension in the truck could be cut with one of Tallahassee’s dullest knives and his eyes struggled to stay open under its heavy weight.

The flask hit the steering wheel with a loud clack, catching Columbus’ attention, and sprayed a few drops of whiskey on the dashboard. Tallahassee pointed it towards an approaching exit with a distant and unreadable expression. 

“Almost there anyway.” 

It’d crept up so quietly that he hadn’t even noticed it until two days before. They’d been deep in a conversation about the differences between shaving with an electric razor and a blade. Columbus chimed in about how those pink-handled razors had the best moisturizing strip, earning a solid laugh, a new nickname, and a hair-ruffle from the older man. That’s when they passed the highway sign stamped with a little black star and nine bold letters. 

TEXARKANA 100

Since then, they’d stopped talking. Tallahassee drank most of the time and Columbus just curled into himself and counted the dwindling miles in his sluggish head. The last one he whispered as they circled the city’s welcome sign.

“Zero.” 

They turned into an abandoned neighborhood and Tallahassee navigated around a few stalled cars to push further into the haven. Columbus scanned the houses quietly, searching for one that had the right square footage and layout to be used as a fortress in the case of a zombie welcoming committee. It’d become their routine over the last month. 

A routine that would end tonight. 

“How about that one?” Columbus pointed to a brick one story ranch home on the corner with a locked shed and intact windows. A lawnmower sat idly in the front yard, just waiting for its owner to come back and finish the job. A trail of blood led to the remains of a hefty zombie head with hamburger for a face. Brain matter, the color of undercooked pork, dotted the green lawn and the body was nowhere to be found. 

“Oh, I think that’ll do nicely.” Tallahassee salivated. “Wonder how many passes it took to reach the center of that zombie Tootsie Pop.”

The one off did little to lighten the mood as he pulled silently into the driveway and clicked the engine off. They sat in silence for a moment, minus the sudden clap of thunder which caused Columbus to grip the arm rest with white fingers. His stomach grew an expanding hole and he swallowed a developing lump. He chanced a look at Tallahassee, who quickly paled and looked away. 

“I’ll go clear the house. You get the gear.” 

The door opened with a creak and Tallahassee jumped out with his gun in tow. Columbus remained seated and watched the snakeskin jacket disappear through a green wooden door. After a breath, he pulled on the little silver handle and jumped down to the red-stained concrete. Flexing his cramped feet within his shoes, he eventually made his way to the end of the driveway and looked left and then right. There were plenty of abandoned cars in this neighborhood. It wouldn’t be too hard for him to find a ride in the morning after Tallahassee drove off. 

The very thought made his insides ache. 

It’d always been a temporary arrangement. He didn’t even know the man’s real name. Still, those butterflies in his stomach had been real and the kiss even more so. It had just been one, initiated by Columbus after they escaped a rather hopeless situation involving an undead group of sprinters and a walled-in track. Apparently, the virus swelled calf muscles too because even Columbus’ cardio barely held out against that swarm of neon spandex. Luckily, Tallahassee came through with a starting pistol, a vaulting pole, and some jump rope. 

The man could fight a T-Rex with a Junior Mint and walk away without a scratch. 

Columbus touched his lips, thinking of the kiss and all the fuzzy feelings it had churned up. The look on Tallahassee’s face that day, a combination of smoldering relief and biting desperation, called back to the day he’d first talked about Buck’s unfortunate death. No one had ever looked at Columbus in such a needful way and then, just a breath later, they’d retreated to their opposite corners and never talked about it again. 

Figured, he finally met someone special and it’d soon be all over because of some stupid deal he’d agreed to out of sheer desperation. 

A hand tugged on his hood and he about-faced to see Tallahassee’s mean mug staring back.

“What the hell you doing out here without your gun? If I’d been a zombie, you’d be meat.”

He freed himself from the easy grip, suddenly defeated.

“Well good thing I’m not your responsibility anymore after tonight, right?”

Columbus marched towards the car and opened the back door. Gun now slung over his shoulder, he pulled his own duffel bag from the pile along with one of Tallahassee’s and played the bell boy to their one-night abode. He scaled two concrete steps, passed through a screen door, and into a narrow hallway that led to a larger living space and dumped their belongings on a tattered brown couch. The door slammed. 

“Hey.” Another bag hit the floor to his right. “You’re the rule guy, right? No names. No commitments. That was the rule.” 

Columbus turned, his face burning with a mixture of hurt and anger. 

“Oh, right okay. So, because I follow a few rules…”

“Thirty-three ain’t a few.” Said with a humorless snort. 

“Fine…thirty-three rules…that means I have to follow your one impossible one? Well I’m not some unfeeling animatronic killing machine like you and that’s not how emotions work.” He paced to the left. “Fuck, you know there are, like, ten people left in the world who aren’t flesh-eating monsters and you’d still rather survive alone than with me. That’s like… worse than breaking up by text.” 

The house turned silent. Columbus approached a fish tank resting atop a long wooden table and touched the scummy boundary where the water once stood. A few guppies laid to rest in piles of their own excrement at the dusty bottom. Their corpses encircled a colorful castle with an outstretched rainbow over the top. The scene itself made him want to cry. He swallowed that urge, determined to push it all down where he would never have to feel it again, and plucked the castle carefully with curious fingers.

Thunder boomed. The house shook. Columbus jumped and drop the glass piece with an abrupt curse. 

“Fuck.” 

It broke in two when it hit the tank’s floor. 

A rustle came from behind and he glanced back to see his counterpart now leaning against the table to his right, hands in his pockets. Gray eyes stared him down with a touch of amusement that started those fucking butterflies again. 

“I take it all these emotions have to do with that moment of affection we shared awhile back.” 

Columbus turned away but stayed in close proximity. “I told you I was sorry.” 

“I know, I was there. Took it as a one-off response to you almost dying.” The older man sauntered closer, head cocked, as a flash of light illuminated the entire room. “Not so sure anymore.” 

Columbus breathed heavily. He gripped his sweatshirt strings and stood his ground, even when Tallahassee stopped just inches away. Static electricity crackled between them and his heart raced with anticipation. He clamped tighter to the two woven pieces between his fingers and looked up into a pair of warm eyes with only minor hesitation. 

“I…I don’t regret the kiss, if that’s what you mean. I would do it again, like immediately, except you weren’t into it and…and you’re clearly not into me so…”

Tallahassee moved in front of him now, nearly pinning him against the table. His hand came up and stilled Columbus’ nervous hands, letting the strings drop. 

“Yea well, you’re wrong.” Blue eyes shined with sincerity. “Look, your head was all over the place when you kissed me. Hell, mine was too. You know why? Cause I thought I’d lost you for good and that messed me up real bad. Now, I held back when we kissed because I needed to make sure I wasn’t just an asshole taking advantage of some scared college kid. Needed to make sure that you saw me as your partner, not just your hero.” 

Columbus swallowed and took in the intense calm radiating off Tallahassee. When the thunder rumbled again, he hardly felt it. Being under Tallahassee’s wing came with many benefits, including a sense of safety that penetrated to his core. He borrowed from that bank of security to make a statement.

“Okay, well I’m…I’m not scared anymore, Tal, and I’m alive. I’m here and…and fuck the rules. I don’t want to split up tomorrow, I don’t want this partnership to end, and I still want to kiss you, right now and like a billion times after now.” 

Tallahassee’s firm and calloused fingers enfolded his hands and slowly lowered them to a more comfortable place at their hips. A flash of light illuminated the gentle smile that accompanied his response.

“Well, alright then. So, let’s cut past the angst and try this again, shall we?” 

Columbus’ chest tightened. Tallahassee took a gentle step back, giving him space to make the next move. His feet responded as if at a junior high dance, countering Tallahassee’s backwards motion and bringing them within an inch of each other. Columbus leaned in and touched their lips together with exhumed confidence. Tallahassee’s palm found the back of his head and guided it forward, pulling their bodies completely together. His other arm wrapped around Columbus’ waist and the younger man responded by gripping the sides of the older man’s jacket with shaky fists. 

His pulse throbbed in his ears. Tallahassee teased at his lips, opening them up for a deeper interaction that sent chills down Columbus’ spine. His legs shook with the combination of intense physical and emotional pleasure. He leaned into the older man and found the support that he craved.

That’s when the rain came. It pounded on the roof like a thousand heartbeats and surrounded them in a thick impenetrable shield. Their lips parted naturally. Their rapid breathing echoed in the stormy chamber. Columbus relaxed his quivering body against Tallahassee’s rock-solid form. Strong arms encircled his waist, calming his racing mind, and one long look into Tallahassee’s dilated eyes gave him the courage to speak. 

“So, uh, Texarkana’s not so bad after all. Maybe we can stay for a few days? Start fresh?”

Tallahassee grew a teasing grin and weaved playful fingers through Columbus’ hair. 

“Well that would give me a chance to do a little yard work and give us plenty of time to enjoy the little things.” He leaned in and whispered in his partner’s ear. “…or the big things.” 

Columbus caught his breath and raised his eyebrows in response to the cunning invitation. 

“That’s, uh, forward of you. By that I mean the...the implication of your large penis, not the…the sex.” Taking his partner’s hand, he backed them towards the bedroom with an impish smile. “Which we’re definitely having. Now. You can mow zombies later.” 

Tallahassee cackled and following without hesitation. 

“Well would you look at that, already ordering me around. I can see this relationship is gonna work out just fine.” 

Lightening bathed them in a warm glow one last time as Tallahassee closed and locked the bedroom door. Thunder grumbled a soft goodbye in the distance. The rain slowed to a gentle drizzle. 

The storm passed and ushered in a parade of stars, a smiling moon, and a new rule.

Rule #34: Bonding before bloodshed


End file.
